Well, I will be posting here regularly, but to be a little more specific, I intend to have an average of no less than two posts per month. More often than not, however, I should have at least one or two up each week, a goal which will be much more easily accomplished once I've fully transitioned into my new role, of course:) A quick heads up, btw. I started working on something this morning which is still in progress. I just got back from a staff retreat, and a lot happened which I'd like to share about. However, "I just got back from a staff retreat," = I got back late last night, slept in this morning, and only had a little bit of time to write anything before going to work (so I now have what we in the blog world refer to as a "saved draft":). Like I said in an earlier post, being an aspiring writer, I prefer to take what I do seriously, so I try to put a good amount of effort into most of what I write.
So keep your eyes peeled for what I come up w/ this weekend, b/c another thing you can expect is that for the time being, most of what I write will not be posted during the week. Hope life is finding you well as you read this.
Post Note - The blog that you see below (Wolverine) is actually the one I was saying to keep your eyes peeled for. For some reason, it shows the date of when I started writing it, not when I actually posted. In all honesty, I doubt anyone's even paying that much attention to all of this, but hey, just in case, thought I'd clear things up for ya:-)
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wolverine (The art of gracefully coming undone, and the beauty of surrender.[Part 1])
"An announcement. If man is made in the image of God, then God is deeply messed up." - Syriana
How easy is it to sweep the hurts of the past under a rug without even realizing it? I was at a retreat w/ the staff of YWAM Coatesville this past weekend. We had a man and a woman share w/ us about understanding who we are in God's economy of things and how easy it is to lose sight of that w/ all the wounds and distractions life throws our way.
Now before I say anything else, I just want to clarify that in light of what I'm about to say, it's pure coincidence that the new X-men movie came out around this time. The couple started sharing w/ us on Saturday morning, and by the time dinner rolled around, we had been given a lot to wrestle w/. So I found myself sitting on a couch later on talking rather informally w/ the woman, one of the girls on staff, and another guy who joined us for the weekend. As the conversation carried on, I started to share about how I could really relate w/ the character Wolverine when I used to watch the animated X-Men cartoon series as a child. There was a guy who had a lot of anger issues, and if you didn't know him any better, you'd think that he was just mean to the core. Much of it was stemming from the pain of being different from the crowd, though, and if you paid attention to some of his other behavioral aspects (such as the way he related w/ Jean, who was very much like a little sister to him), you could see that he had a very sensitive side, as well. To put it simply, he recognized innocence and beauty, and he knew that he had to protect it.
I had to deal a lot w/ the feeling of being "different" when I was a child. There are a lot of details to it, but to give you the long in short, I was told all my life that I have a lot of strong points in terms of gifts and talents, but that there are a lot of areas in which I fall well behind the crowd, too. I have to admit, the feeling of being out-of-sync w/ everyone else was just adding fuel to the fire for me, as I often felt very frustrated just trying to work w/ what I had (communication problems, difficulty focusing, etc.). It wasn't until I was about 9, however, that things really began to erupt, and it took about 2 years for me to really get a grip on myself. The sad thing I had to come to realize, however, is that as much as I felt all fine and good in my own right having that part of me that also recognized innocence and beauty and knew that I needed to protect it (such as when somebody wanted to pick on another person in class who was in some way disabled, dysfunctional, or socially awkward), my anger, if left unresolved, would turn me into just as much of a monster...if not worse.
Many years have passed since then, and like I said (in a different sort of metaphor) it's easy to forget about all that was lost in the fire once the flames have cooled down over time. I started to realize some of the deeper hurts that were soothed, but not healed. I have to admit that as I wander back down the paths of my past, it's easy to feel like life is just one endless maze of knots waiting to be untied.......but is there and end to all the hurts and confusion we often find? (More to come)
How easy is it to sweep the hurts of the past under a rug without even realizing it? I was at a retreat w/ the staff of YWAM Coatesville this past weekend. We had a man and a woman share w/ us about understanding who we are in God's economy of things and how easy it is to lose sight of that w/ all the wounds and distractions life throws our way.
Now before I say anything else, I just want to clarify that in light of what I'm about to say, it's pure coincidence that the new X-men movie came out around this time. The couple started sharing w/ us on Saturday morning, and by the time dinner rolled around, we had been given a lot to wrestle w/. So I found myself sitting on a couch later on talking rather informally w/ the woman, one of the girls on staff, and another guy who joined us for the weekend. As the conversation carried on, I started to share about how I could really relate w/ the character Wolverine when I used to watch the animated X-Men cartoon series as a child. There was a guy who had a lot of anger issues, and if you didn't know him any better, you'd think that he was just mean to the core. Much of it was stemming from the pain of being different from the crowd, though, and if you paid attention to some of his other behavioral aspects (such as the way he related w/ Jean, who was very much like a little sister to him), you could see that he had a very sensitive side, as well. To put it simply, he recognized innocence and beauty, and he knew that he had to protect it.
I had to deal a lot w/ the feeling of being "different" when I was a child. There are a lot of details to it, but to give you the long in short, I was told all my life that I have a lot of strong points in terms of gifts and talents, but that there are a lot of areas in which I fall well behind the crowd, too. I have to admit, the feeling of being out-of-sync w/ everyone else was just adding fuel to the fire for me, as I often felt very frustrated just trying to work w/ what I had (communication problems, difficulty focusing, etc.). It wasn't until I was about 9, however, that things really began to erupt, and it took about 2 years for me to really get a grip on myself. The sad thing I had to come to realize, however, is that as much as I felt all fine and good in my own right having that part of me that also recognized innocence and beauty and knew that I needed to protect it (such as when somebody wanted to pick on another person in class who was in some way disabled, dysfunctional, or socially awkward), my anger, if left unresolved, would turn me into just as much of a monster...if not worse.
Many years have passed since then, and like I said (in a different sort of metaphor) it's easy to forget about all that was lost in the fire once the flames have cooled down over time. I started to realize some of the deeper hurts that were soothed, but not healed. I have to admit that as I wander back down the paths of my past, it's easy to feel like life is just one endless maze of knots waiting to be untied.......but is there and end to all the hurts and confusion we often find? (More to come)
Sunday, April 26, 2009
"So, Jimmy. Are you Jewish?"
I get that question a lot. I hear everything. "You look like you are." Really? Since when is having dark hair, Ashkenazic-ish complexion, and just overall good looks something that you rarely find in a non-Jew? (Ok, so I'm working on that last qualification, but still....) "But the way you think and talk, your gestures, your mannerisms...you're Jewish!" All I'm gonna say is I've been around the culture long enough. "You seem to have a strong understanding of Yiddishkeit, though (Definition - http://www.ou.org/about/judaism/yz.htm)." I'm sure you would, too, if you just read enough books and had enough conversations.
Look, the bottom line is simply this. No, I am not Jewish, and in my opinion, nothing I do will ever change that. Being Jewish is about being a bloodline descendant of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, b/c it was w/ them that God established His covenant, thereby creating the children of Israel (Gen. 12:1-3; 17:19-21; 28:10-15; 32:28). Even if I were to make a full conversion to Judaism, adopting all of the practices, that doesn't change anything as far as I'm concerned. A Jew is a Jew b/c he is born a Jew, the same thing goes for a Gentile, and to say anything to the contrary would make God out to be a liar in my mind.
That having been said, I feel it's important for you to understand that I do believe in Yeshua(Jesus) as the Jewish Messiah prophesied in the Hebrew Scriptures, through faith in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Israel. Consider, if you were to visit someone's house w/ a friend of yours, who would be the most important person? More than likely you're going to say that nobody is more important than anybody else, and if you've said this, you've answered well. However, only one of these three people is the host, and is it not fair to say that you should honor this person? Likewise, there are many nations comprised of many individuals, all of whom are equally esteemed by God Almighty (II Chron. 19:7; Rom. 2:11). However, only one nation has been chosen to host us into the blessings of God, and no matter how many other guests we invite, the host is still the host. It only makes sense to me, then, that I should honor the host, the Jewish people, b/c in not doing so, not only am I showing disrespect to them, I'm acting in grievance against God.
So to answer your question one last time, no, I am not Jewish, but I am honored to be loved by the God of Israel through the redemption I've received from Him in the Messiah, Yeshua, and I feel so immeasurably indebted to let that be known amongst all peoples.
"Do not boast against the branches (the Jewish people). If you boast, remember, it isn't you that bears the root, but the root that bears you." - Rom. 11:18
Look, the bottom line is simply this. No, I am not Jewish, and in my opinion, nothing I do will ever change that. Being Jewish is about being a bloodline descendant of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, b/c it was w/ them that God established His covenant, thereby creating the children of Israel (Gen. 12:1-3; 17:19-21; 28:10-15; 32:28). Even if I were to make a full conversion to Judaism, adopting all of the practices, that doesn't change anything as far as I'm concerned. A Jew is a Jew b/c he is born a Jew, the same thing goes for a Gentile, and to say anything to the contrary would make God out to be a liar in my mind.
That having been said, I feel it's important for you to understand that I do believe in Yeshua(Jesus) as the Jewish Messiah prophesied in the Hebrew Scriptures, through faith in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the God of Israel. Consider, if you were to visit someone's house w/ a friend of yours, who would be the most important person? More than likely you're going to say that nobody is more important than anybody else, and if you've said this, you've answered well. However, only one of these three people is the host, and is it not fair to say that you should honor this person? Likewise, there are many nations comprised of many individuals, all of whom are equally esteemed by God Almighty (II Chron. 19:7; Rom. 2:11). However, only one nation has been chosen to host us into the blessings of God, and no matter how many other guests we invite, the host is still the host. It only makes sense to me, then, that I should honor the host, the Jewish people, b/c in not doing so, not only am I showing disrespect to them, I'm acting in grievance against God.
So to answer your question one last time, no, I am not Jewish, but I am honored to be loved by the God of Israel through the redemption I've received from Him in the Messiah, Yeshua, and I feel so immeasurably indebted to let that be known amongst all peoples.
"Do not boast against the branches (the Jewish people). If you boast, remember, it isn't you that bears the root, but the root that bears you." - Rom. 11:18
If time is money, no wonder it's rarely free (The chaotic schedule that is.......)
So what does the average week in the life of Jimmy Ballenger look like these days? Well, I'll break it down for you as follows:
Sat. morn. - afternoon: Services/fellowship at KSS (http://www.kehilatsarshalom.org/)
Sat. late afternoon - night: Work
Sun. morn. - afternoon: Errands, chill (a *little*)
Sun. late afternoon - night: Work
Mon.: Same as Sunday
Tuesday morn. - late afternoon: Work
Tuesday eve.: Come home, get dinner, throw my things together, drive up to PA
Tuesday night: Arrive in Coatesville, get settled in, go to bed
Wed. morn. - late afternoon: Staff lectures/helping out any way I can
Wed. eve. - night: Helping out w/ YWAM-Coatesville's Spanish ministry
Thurs. morn. - late afternoon: Helping out around the base, manning reception in the afternoon
Thurs. eve. - night: Work in fundraising
Fri. morn. - late afternoon: Same as Wed.
Fri. eve. - night: Same as Tues. (in reverse)
So that's what life's looking like for me pretty much these days. Despite how hectic that sounds, it's not that bad. I do get enough downtime here and there each week to relax and spend time w/ others (I do have to have time to eat, you know). I guess that's all there really is to say for now, then, so thanks again for taking the time to read:)
Sat. morn. - afternoon: Services/fellowship at KSS (http://www.kehilatsarshalom.org/)
Sat. late afternoon - night: Work
Sun. morn. - afternoon: Errands, chill (a *little*)
Sun. late afternoon - night: Work
Mon.: Same as Sunday
Tuesday morn. - late afternoon: Work
Tuesday eve.: Come home, get dinner, throw my things together, drive up to PA
Tuesday night: Arrive in Coatesville, get settled in, go to bed
Wed. morn. - late afternoon: Staff lectures/helping out any way I can
Wed. eve. - night: Helping out w/ YWAM-Coatesville's Spanish ministry
Thurs. morn. - late afternoon: Helping out around the base, manning reception in the afternoon
Thurs. eve. - night: Work in fundraising
Fri. morn. - late afternoon: Same as Wed.
Fri. eve. - night: Same as Tues. (in reverse)
So that's what life's looking like for me pretty much these days. Despite how hectic that sounds, it's not that bad. I do get enough downtime here and there each week to relax and spend time w/ others (I do have to have time to eat, you know). I guess that's all there really is to say for now, then, so thanks again for taking the time to read:)
Saturday, April 25, 2009
So the adventure's begun (my journey back into YWAM)
Hola, shalom, and all that good stuff:) Well, it's been a while since I've posted any material online, and I thought now would be a good time for me to go w/ a site that's a little more blog-oriented (being a writer by trade, I prefer to take what I do seriously).
So what's new w/ me? Well, there's definitely a lot to catch up on, but I'll leave it w/ this for now. In case you haven't heard, I just got started back w/ YWAM (and in case you don't know what YWAM is, click here to find out more - http://www.ywam.org/). If you know me at all, you're probably well aware that I have a major heart for New York City. I took quite a few trips to the area between spring '04 and fall '06 (living in Northern Virginia makes it easy to do things like that:). In the last few years, however, I started to realize that everything that drew me to NYC could be found in some fashion throughout much of the Northeast (namely the 8-hour stretch along the I-95 corridor from D.C. to Boston). This got me pretty excited, and it was only a short matter of time before God called me back into YWAM.
After taking some time to pray about where I should join, I felt like I should link up w/ a base in Coatesville, PA (about 3 hours from where I live). I've known the leader of YWAM-Coatesville for quite a few years, and it turns out we've both been getting a burden for Philadelphia (the only remaining major city in the northeastern U.S. in which there is no YWAM presence). Some time had passed, and the door eventually opened for me to join staff at the beginning of this month (how that happened is quite a story, too...but I suppose it's better left for another time:).
I'll have more to share about the ongoing details of my life in later posts, but I'll close w/ this. If you know about YWAM, you know that everybody who gets involved has to raise their own financial support (yes, even the founder, himself, does not receive a salary). I have a ways to go w/ this, so I am continuing w/ my current job during the first half of each week until I've raised enough funds to join on as a full-time staff member. Please do keep me in your prayers as it comes to mind, and if you would like to help me in this journey by supporting me financially, feel free to get a hold of me and let me know.
God bless, and thank you so much for taking the time to read.
So what's new w/ me? Well, there's definitely a lot to catch up on, but I'll leave it w/ this for now. In case you haven't heard, I just got started back w/ YWAM (and in case you don't know what YWAM is, click here to find out more - http://www.ywam.org/). If you know me at all, you're probably well aware that I have a major heart for New York City. I took quite a few trips to the area between spring '04 and fall '06 (living in Northern Virginia makes it easy to do things like that:). In the last few years, however, I started to realize that everything that drew me to NYC could be found in some fashion throughout much of the Northeast (namely the 8-hour stretch along the I-95 corridor from D.C. to Boston). This got me pretty excited, and it was only a short matter of time before God called me back into YWAM.
After taking some time to pray about where I should join, I felt like I should link up w/ a base in Coatesville, PA (about 3 hours from where I live). I've known the leader of YWAM-Coatesville for quite a few years, and it turns out we've both been getting a burden for Philadelphia (the only remaining major city in the northeastern U.S. in which there is no YWAM presence). Some time had passed, and the door eventually opened for me to join staff at the beginning of this month (how that happened is quite a story, too...but I suppose it's better left for another time:).
I'll have more to share about the ongoing details of my life in later posts, but I'll close w/ this. If you know about YWAM, you know that everybody who gets involved has to raise their own financial support (yes, even the founder, himself, does not receive a salary). I have a ways to go w/ this, so I am continuing w/ my current job during the first half of each week until I've raised enough funds to join on as a full-time staff member. Please do keep me in your prayers as it comes to mind, and if you would like to help me in this journey by supporting me financially, feel free to get a hold of me and let me know.
God bless, and thank you so much for taking the time to read.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)