Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It happened for the first time.

So I've been up here in PA for a little over a year now. I visit home quite frequently as it's not even three hours away, but of course most of my time is spent near the rolling hills and pastures of Amish country. Now this isn't the first time I've lived for an extended period of time away from home (there was that year I spent mostly in Arkansas and on some travels, and let's not forget the better part of a year and 1/2 that I spent in Richmond), but what hit me as I finally made it into Herndon on Mother's Day came quite unexpectedly - the official feeling that I was no longer "visiting home", just visiting Herndon. I love making the drive down to see friends and family, but it no longer feels like home to me. It truly was an awesome and sobering experience. PA is where I am, and it is where I belong.

As I look back on the year and two months that now trail behind me, I'm so glad I made the move up here. It was nice getting to spend the majority of my twenties being a "Tarzan visionary", as I call it (i.e. "Lemme swing over here, check this out, and see how it looks. Cool, now I'm going to swing over there and see what that looks like."), but I can honestly say that I've come to a place of rest now where I can commit to something practical over the long-term, not just a "vision" that will come into fruition at some point in the future. I guess this is all part of growing up, something that we never stop doing (or at least never should). I'm enjoying learning what it means to mature without losing a childlike heart. Thank You, God, for Your direction in my life.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever." - Psalm 23 (KJV)

Dehydration (Another worship song written in spring '07)

"O God, You are my God. I will seek You early in the morning. My soul thirsts for You, my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water." - Psalm 63:1


I am a desperate man

Hungering for truth

Thirsting for it like water

As I wander through this desert

This desert of Your presence

(Where are You?)

This desert of Your presence

(Where are You?)

Please hear my cry

And quiet these raging waters in my soul

They're drowning me away

They're drowning me away

This can't be Your will

You that made me in Your image

I am Your child and I know

You still have a sovereign plan

I am still in Your hand

So please answer this desperation

That I may understand

The things that come between us

That leave me in this paralyzing state

Oh, God Who raised the dead

I'll trust every word that You said

But only by a strength that comes from You

So hear me now and answer the cries of my heart

Touch me Lord, and give me a fire anew

That I may serve You

For I am Your child

I know this is true

And what would I be without You?

Without You, what would I be?

What would I be?

What would I be?

What would I be?

"My God! My God! Why have You forsaken me?" (Psalm 22:1a; Matthew 27:46c; Mark 15:34c)