Ok, guilty confession. I'm not writing anything fresh, here, b/c to do so would be compromising value (the month's been very busy, so I haven't had the time to come up w/ something decent). Nevertheless, the material is fresh on this blog. I dug this out from something I wrote on Myspace almost 3 years ago. It explains the beginning of a journey I've been on which culminated in my decision to study math & physics. I felt like it was good for me to re-visit this, so I thought I'd share it w/ you here, too....
Hmm...what am I trying to write here? Good question, huh? Yes? No? Well, I don't care what your answer is. It's not you I'm asking that question to, obviously, therefore I am the judge and I say it's a good one. Seriously, though. For me it is. See, I've been going through a lot of changes in my perspectives on life, lately. It's kinda hard to explain, really, at least in a nutshell...then again, EVERYTHING's hard for me to explain in a nutshell. Basically what I'm getting at is this. We grow up, we grow old, we eat, we sleep, we live, we breathe, we die. Somewhere between kindergarten and the memorial service, we forget who we are, we forget what we are, and for that matter, we forget that we once knew why we exist. Ok, I'm trying not to make that sound to cliche, but seriously. We start off in life so young, fresh, full of ideas and excitement, then we just get distracted from all of that.
I took a trip to the National Air and Space Museum the other week, just for the heck of it. How often do you do that in your busy life, just do something b/c you feel like doing it? I haven't done that much lately. So I went, truth be told I actually just went b/c I wanted to get this stuff called "space ice cream" which I hadn't had in forever (give or take a few years, of course). It was so nice just to remember what it was like being a kid again. The world looked so different in a way. Memories were coming back to me that I hadn't thought of in years, so vividly it was as if I was re-living them. It was so strange, I couldn't explain it all, only that I was starting to regain a certain sense of purpose, the path of which I had been distracted from a long time ago, and it's taking me on a journey which I didn't anticipate. I don't know where this journey leads, but I want to find out. Am I beginning again, or am I merely continuing, having been on pause all these years? I don't know, but I'm glad to know that I'm gonna find out.
Anyway, so much more I could say, but that'll come later. Let me know your thoughts, if maybe you've been experiencing the same thing, yourself. I'd love to hear.
(excerpt from a comment I made in response to someone's question):
I've dealt w/ a lot of frustration over the fact that I know I'm gifted in a way that's rare, but how all of my giftings are supposed to function harmoniously remained a mystery to me. Then I realized that what's always fascinated me, be it about math, science, ancient history,...about God...is this whole idea of mystery, that there's so much we don't know. Throughout my entire life, I've always loved to challenge people's assumptions and shatter their illusions, and now I'm starting to understand why. Beyond that, it's a long story, but the nutshell is that my heart is returning to that place of wonder, being fascinated by the Creator when beholding His creation, and I'm learning that while I may have chosen writing as my focus in life instead of some field of science, I can still study about the things that fascinate me and express it in my writing. Thanks for asking:)
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